Monthly Archives: June 2015

M|M|R – Perseverance only, is not enough.

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Three-Feet-From-GoldAfter the rain fell perseverantly throughout the weekend, it finally cleared up this morning. We see the bright sunshine, the temperature rises and it’s like summer again.

Have you ever describe the rain using “Perseverance”? Perseverance means continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure. The rain did go on and off, on and off, the whole weekend.

In his all-time classic book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill tells the story of  R. U. Darby.

Harby’s uncle had gold fever, so he staked his claim and started digging.  After a lot of hard work, the uncle found a vein of ore, so he covered up his find and returned home to raise the money for the machinery that he would need to bring the ore to the surface.

They raised the money and Darby travelled with his uncle back to the site to make their fortune.

Things started well and before long, they had enough to clear their debts.  They were excited, everything from here on would be profit and things were looking good.

Then the supply of gold stopped.  The vein of ore had disappeared. They kept on digging, but found nothing.

After a while, they quit in frustration and sold their machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars.

After they went home in disappointment, the astute junk man called in a mining engineer who checked the mine and calculated that there was a vein of gold just three feet from where Darby and his uncle had stopped digging. The junk man went on to make millions from the mine.

Darby returned home, paid back everyone who had lent him money and was determined to learn from his mistake in giving up too soon. He went on to become a phenomenally successful insurance salesman, more than recouping what he would have made from the gold mine.

This is the famous story of “Three Feet From Gold”. It is such a lesson that reminds us to keep up when we are so close to what we want, our dreams, our success, the relationship we want, the fortune we pursue, and etc.

Perseverance is one of the key factors leading to success. However, when do we know whether we should be persistent or let go?

Think about this. You know your goal is to run 20 minutes on the treadmill everyday. Now there’s only 2 minutes left. Will you keep it up even if you are really out of breath? You have been asking this girl out for weeks using various strategies. You can feel the loose in her attitude. Will you keep it up or just let her go? Your goal for the day is to finish the report. When it’s time to go home and you only have the final paragraph to finish. Will you keep on writing to finish it or leave it unfinished and go home?

When the goal is very clear, when we are very clear about the goal, when we know clearly what it would be like when we reach the goal, we are more likely keep it up, continue until we finish. It’s not likely that we will stop “Three Feet From Gold”.

Therefore, don’t feel bad about not keeping on with something. Try to clear up what you want to get from the keeping up, a.k.a. your goal, you will a lot more likely to finish it, because you know that is important to you.

To your success.

Hanh Consulting 

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W|D|R – What’s better?

flyer-blog

We have been offering an English program using children’s books, stories, jokes, and etc.  The purpose is to ease into improving English.  With the time, the learners will realize that they can express themselves more naturally using simple and concise language.  We believe that it is easier to keep up with learning when it is fun and applicable.

The learners feedback are the most that I like. After one class, one of the learner, who is a gentleman in his sixties, came to me and told me, “I really wish that you keep running the program. This is totally different from other English programs. The program not only help me learn the language and practice, it also make me think.  Think about the topics we discussed, like ethics, happiness, patience, teamwork….” Another lady is very fond of the stories. In the reviewing class of “The Penguin Story”, she told me excitedly that she told the story to her team in their MLM group meeting, encouraging them to be curious, have a vision and take actions to get the goal. After a few days, she called me and told me that her team had recruited another 28 people, since the members picture themselves as the curious Edna (the character in the Penguin Story), and explore their business with good intention and the right action.

Every class, we will have a new story.  At the beginning, I will point out the topics for discussion; then one by one, we read the story out loud, which was hard at the beginning, but an enjoyment now. Since there are not many hard or awkward vocabulary in children’s books, the learners are relaxed and interested. When it comes to the fun part, laughs will fill the room. What’s better is we go beyond the book. Based on the topics for discussion, we can get into very deep talks on the how-to’s, such as how to conquer fear, how to be more patience, how to match our attitude with our intentions, how to keep constructive relationship with others…

Finally, the learners get the beauty of this program – expressing comprehensive ideas with simple language and to the point.

The program has been running for 2 months and I realize that I have got even more than the learners.  Just to name a few:

  • Become more aware of my language. One of the principles of being a good instructor is to be encouraging and positive. How can we engage others mostly depends on what kind of language we use to communicate.  I used to teach children and I am very good at how to make them think and talk on their feet. But talking in the same way to adults can be offensive. Therefore, I use a lot of specific encouragement, meaning, encouraging the behavior, the word, the expression, the action, instead of a simple “That is good.”
  • Keep improving. Since I want to make the 2 hours of in-class teaching engaging, interesting and applicable, I will research a lot, read a lot and write a lot, also creating eye-catching slides for the instruction.  Sometimes it can be very tiring.  However, with the time, the process becomes more and more natural and flowing to me.  In addition, I realize I have improved a lot in teaching, analyzing, explaining and organizing, which is a side gain from teaching.
  • Have a sense of accomplishment. It is such an incentive for me to see the improvement of the learners. They speak 75% of the time in class. They get into discussions. They form the habit of practicing every day. They keep coming to class rain or shine. When I see their eyes, I know I am on the right track. I can really help them become better. In the meantime, I am becoming better, too.

Les Brown said, “Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”

Champs, reach out to the people who are in need of help. The moment you help them out of stuck, the moment you add another plus to the meaning of your life.

To your success.

Hanh Consulting

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M|M|C Report – You don’t need to be a salesman to know how to sell.

tenacityIt says being in sales is like being in battlefield. Good Salesmen share a lot in common with a good soldier.

Do you agree that we are selling every day, no matter what industry we are in? As employees in the office, we are selling ourselves to the management that we are the qualified employees, so that when it comes to promotion or salary raise, we would be considered; as students in class, we are selling ourselves to the professors that we are diligent students, who are able to apply and multiply what we learn and when it comes to scholarship or award, we would be nominated; as job seekers, we are selling ourselves to the potential employers that we are competent candidates, so that we would be shortlisted; when we come back home, we are selling ourselves to the family that we are loving and contributing members, so that our requests could be accepted. You don’t need to be a salesman to know how to sell.

However, whether we can be good at selling or not, does not solely depend on our skills, our resources or our background. A lot of the areas we think we are lack of, can be compensated with things from within us.

History is a mirror. Let’s take a look at some of the famous outnumbered battles ended up with the victory of the weak forces:

Battle of Thermopylae (480 BC), a battle between an alliance of Greek city-states, led by King Leonidas of Sparta, and the Persian Empire of Xerxes I over the course of three days, during the second Persian invasion of Greece in August or September 480 BC, where Spartans kept resistance against much larger Persian army, being defeated eventually, but allowing other Greek forces to prepare to fight.

The Battle of Yorktown, American Revolution (1781), was the climax of the American Revolution and directly led to the independence of the United States of America. The idea that a group of poorly armed, loosely organized colonists would have the audacity to challenge the massive, experienced army and navy of their rulers seemed impossible when the revolution’s first shots rang out at Lexington and Concord in 1775. Despite the huge imbalance of power, the Americans understood that time was on their side and keep fighting for freedom and dignity. From the days following their victory at Yorktown, Americans have steadily gained power and influence up to their present role as one of the world’s most prosperous nation and the military superpower.

There were also numerous guerrilla forces won the battles in the anti-Japanese war. They contributed significantly to the victory of the World War II. The guerrilla had poor equipment, much smaller forces and less advanced tactics, yet they fought with strong courage, determination and persistence. Despite the poor condition, the lack of supply and the short of hands, they created history with unbelievable victories one after another.

In history, a good swordman would always have the courage to draw out his sword in the face of a stronger rivalry. No matter what the result was, the bravery of drawing out the sword was a full demonstration of courage, confidence and persistence.

  • When we complain about lack of supply or resources, we are turning away from our courage to take the initiative to seek what we think we are short of.
  • When we hesitate whether to initiate a new conversation, we are blinded from our confidence that we can do it.
  • When we feel frustrated by not seeing any progress and think of giving up, we are abandoning our persistence and stop “three-feet-from-gold”.

It takes time to build up our muscles of courage, confidence and persistence. But we can see change right away, if we start to become aware of our reaction in the presence of challenge or setback.

We are all the best of us in our special position. Whether we can become who we want to be all depends on our awareness, determination and actions.

To your success.

Hanh Consulting

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W|D|R – Patience is an attitude.

patienceIn my class last night, we shared one of the classic stories from the Frog and Toad Together series, “The Garden”, in which after Toad planted some seeds that Frog gave to him in his garden, he talked to the seeds “Now seeds, start growing.”; nothing happened, he yelled at the seeds, “Now seeds, START GROWING.”, still no avail. After Frog told him that he might scare the seeds, he read a long story at night to the seeds, sang to the seeds, read poems to the seeds, played music to the seeds in the following days. Still, nothing happened. He finally fell asleep, believing that “these must be the most frightened seeds in the world.”  Toad was waken up by Frog, only to find that the small green plants were growing. He had to admit that “It is hard work.” (which obviously, whatever he did, no matter how hard he tried, didn’t help the seeds grow.)

What do you think Toad need instead? If you answer PATIENCE, then we can spend a little time on this topic.

From Wikipedia we know that patience is,

“the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on negative annoyance/anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. “

There are various definitions of patience. In science, in religions, in psychology, in philosophy, patience is defined as a choice, an important personal trait, the most valuable virtue of life, a steadfast belief, the ability to control one’s emotions, unshrinking forbearance and unassailable moral courage.

Since patience is so important, how can we practice patience?

  • When we wait for someone who is late for the appointment, are we patient?
  • When we are stuck in the traffic while on our way to celebrate a loved one’s birthday and kept checking the time, are we patient?
  • When someone verbally attacks us, we walk away cursing the wrongdoer, are we patient?

I thought the waiting, the accepting and the avoiding is a practice of patience, until I read this by Joyce Meyer:

Patience is not the ability to wait, but to keep a good attitude while waiting.

It hit me hard. I remember a saying “Attitude is everything.’. Even though it is a cliche, it has tremendous power.

Take a look at the appointment scene. You have been waiting for the person way beyond the reasonable window, yet you are still waiting, because you want to be patient. However, the moment the person shows up, instead of greeting with smile, you throw out a straight face. What do you think the other person will feel? No matter how long you have been waiting, how hard you have tried to be patient, a simple attitude (straight face) kills everything. Remember, Maya Angelou said, “…people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”

How about the traffic scene? You try to practice patience by not honking, not yelling. You know you are late for the dinner. At that moment, your phone rings and it is your wife asking why you are not home yet. Instead of calming down and explaining, you storm back, “I am in the F* traffic…”. You don’t need to say anything further, the night is ruined. No matter what beautiful flowers you buy or exquisite cake you order, a simple attitude (negative energy) kills everything. Remember our inner dialogue is the software that programs our attitude. It determines how we present ourselves to the world around us.

It is valuable and vital to match our action with our intention, so that we can get the outcome we want, in life and at work. The only tool is our ATTITUDE.

Next time when we want to be patient, remind ourselves from inside out that the message of being patient can only be conveyed to the others by holding a good attitude. When our attitude is right, our action is right.

Being a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp, Victor Frankl gave “attitude” the highest prize in Man’s Search for Meaning. He wrote that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

To your success.

Hanh Consulting

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H-Day Report – Success is a number’s game.

success

  • Do you want success?
  • Have you done anything that will lead you to success?
  • If there’s a new way of doing things that will lead you to success faster, would like to try it?

If I tell you success is a number’s game, do you believe it?

In sports, the global celebrity, the basketball icon, Michael Jordan, said in one of the interviews, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

In science, Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before creating the lightbulb. Although the exact number of tries has been debated, ranging from 1,000 to 10,000 attempts, it’s safe to say Edison tried and failed a whole lot before he successfully created his beacon of light. His response to his repeated failures? “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

In art, Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime. Van Gogh is considered one of the greatest artists of all time. Even though he made no money, he still painted over 900 works of art. Though his persistence went unnoticed when he was alive, Van Gogh proves you don’t need external validation to be proud of the work you create.

In publish, twelve publishing houses rejected J. K. Rowling’s original Harry Potter manuscripts, but eventually small publisher Bloomsbury gave her a chance with a small advance. Little did anyone know it would become the bestselling book series in history.

In politics, Abraham Lincoln is known as one of the greatest President of the United States of American, yet he bounced back from repeated challenges during the 30+ years before his election as a President:

  • Failed in business at age 21.
  • Was defeated in a legislative race at age 22.
  • Failed again in business at age 24.
  • Overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26.
  • Had a nervous breakdown at age 27.
  • Lost a congressional race at age 34.
  • Lost a congressional race at age 36.
  • Lost a senatorial race at age 45.
  • Failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47.
  • Lost a senatorial race at age 47.
  • Was elected PRESIDENT of the United States at age 52!

Before you start to get defensive, simply take a look at the numbers. Just estimate, how long do you think it takes to finish the 9,000 shots? How long does it take to try 10,000 different ways to create a lightbulb? How long do you think it takes to paint 900 paintings? How long do you think it takes to pass the screening of 12 publishing houses? Let alone Lincoln’s repeated bouncing back over the 30 years.

They all succeeded ultimately. They got on board the number’s game. We talk about bouncing back, resilience, persistence, meeting the challenges head-on, holding our spirit high in difficulties. The simplest way to achieve all these is to get ourselves into the number’s game. In order to see the numbers, we must take actions; in order to see the numbers, we must continue the actions; in order to see the numbers, we must live through the timeline and accumulate our stamina. Like you drive at night, with the headlight covering the 200 meter in front of your car, you are able to get where you want to go.

As time goes by, as number changes, you will see the success you are longing for. That is when all the hard works pays off.

To you success. 

Hanh Consulting

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M|M|C Report – If you think you fail, you are right!

napoleon hillIt is pretty tough, cold and cruel, isn’t it? But that’s the kind of message I would like you to remember. No one likes to fail. No one wants to admit a failure. However, most of us do say “I failed to ……” when things are not going smoothly. If you think you fail, you are right!

Just like Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing, or think you can’t do a thing, you are right.”. It is not the thing, not the obstacle, not the setback, that defeats us, it is US, ourselves. Neuroscientists have already revealed that our brain is wired the way that, emotionally arousing, stressful events activate the Amygdala (the “traffic light”), which causes the activating trigger to become firmly rooted into our implicit memory. That is why we remember the threat, trauma or loss so vividly and long-term. It seems that our brains are programmed for failure.

However, on second thoughts, our brain reacts to the adversities; if we change our definition of adversities, we can trick our brains that what we are facing is just temporary. What I learned from “Outwitting the Devil” by Napoleon Hill, is that, don’t confuse temporary defeat with permanent failure, meaning changing the way we look at obstacles and setbacks, we will get back on track more easily. We will not fail until we admit it. If you ever watch boxing, you will understand its meaning. No matter how many times a party is knocked down, as long as he stands up, he doesn’t fail the game. Since none of us like to fail, if we are beaten down by hardship, poverty, dissatisfaction, or things not going our way, remember that these are temporary, these will, too, pass.

It is not positive fantasies, it is our internal motivation to get back on track quickly. We have that strong desire to succeed, big or small; we have tried different ways to get there, either make it or not, so to the point of now, we have already known what works and what not. By telling our brain that what we are facing right now is temporary, no stress, no threat, the Amygdala will relax, our view for next step is still open, and we will have more options to proceed.

In addition to the biological mechanism, we are training our metal muscles at the same time. Like Napoleon Hill said, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” You don’t want to be the one who is only three feet from gold. You don’t want to the one with “Had I….” as your mantra. You want to succeed. You want to get to your goal.

If you think you can do it, you are right!

To your success!

Hanh Consulting 

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W|D|R – How would you grade?

mother-baby-holding-handsYesterday I watched a very moving video. It is an interview of some mothers and their kids, done separately.

At the beginning of the interview, the moms are asked “What is the headache about your kid?”. Here are some of the things the moms mentioned:

  • I am really angry when he is not listening.
  • She wants a a lot of attention.
  • He doesn’t eat any vegetables.
  • She cries four or five times a day.
  • ……

Next question, “If the full grade is 10, what would be your kid’s grade?”. Well, 5, 7, and 8 being the highest.

Now the scene turns to the kids. These are some of the things they mentioned:

  • I like it when mom plays with me.
  • I just want to give her a hug when I come back from school.
  • She makes the best lunch.
  • I just want protect her.
  • ……

Next question, “If the full grade is 10, how would you grade your mom?”. Wow, 10, 10, 10,000……

When the moms watch their kids’ interviews and hear what their kids say, no exception, they are all in tears, so am I. And the video ends with all the hugs and kisses and the happy scenes of mom and kids.

The questions are a bit tricky and you might say that the moms are tricked. But that’s exactly how we look at our kids. We always say that our love for our kids are unconditional and we love them for who they are. However, subconsciously we still apply our standards upon them and judge them to be good or bad, to be rebellious or obedient. While for kids, they love us solely because they love us. Despite our yelling, our pushing, our blaming or condemning, which might make them into tears, at the end of the day, they still come back to us with a hug or kiss, and tell us “I love you.”. No wonder one of my friends wrote in her journal, “Thank you, my Baby, for the love you give me. I will love you the way you love me. I will love you the way you want me to love you.” We owe our kids the love that is called unconditional love.

It doesn’t only apply to parenting. When we deal with anybody, if we can leave off our pre-judgment, if we can forget about our expectations, if we can always hold a sunny attitude, we will be seeing only the good. Remember, wherever the sun shines, the darkness can’t exist.

Let’s be the sunshine in our lives. Warm and light up our surroundings. Start from ourselves.

To your success.

Hanh Consulting

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H-Day Report – Good luck on your new horizon!

A beautiful message to share with you ……

I don’t know what to give you before you leave, please take my my eyes, my heart and my mind with you. Use the eyes to seize the moments, use the heart to hold on tight of your determination and use the mind to stand up tall in challenges and keep going. You know all the right things to do. You will be fine and everything will turn out successful.

In good times and bad, remember that someone else has survived more sever situations, Peter Diamandis, the man who recreated the “Spirit of St. Louis”, using his stickability, persistent and passionate mind. In order to raise enough money to fund the X Prize project, a $10 million incentive competition intended to inspire a new generation of private passenger-carrying spaceships. He searched for sources as relentlessly as a man searched for air while submerged underwater. With passion, commitment and confidence, he poured his soul into finding sponsors who believed in the X Prize. After pitching to hundreds of CEOs to fund the project without any result, he refused to let the rejection after rejection stop him, until he ultimately found the right source and the project was successfully funded through an insurance policy underwritten by the Anousheh and Hamid Ansari Family. No objection could ever stop him from reaching out. The confidence came from the faith in the project, the faith in his decision on this project. There must be people out there willing to invest the money. You will be on a similar path to search for your future. Apply Napoleon Hill’s four steps to develop your stickability: Have a definite purpose, take continuous action on your plan, close your mind tightly against all distractions and surround yourself with supportive people.

Please read the list as a mantra before you go to bed and after you rise in the morning. Good luck on your new horizon!

  1. If anything can go wrong, fix it!

  2. When given a choice … take both!

  3. Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.

  4. Start at the top, then work your way up.

  5. Do it by the book … but be the author!

  6. When forced to compromise, ask for more.

  7. If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now.

  8. If you can’t win, change the rules.

  9. If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them.

  10. Perfection is not optional.

  11. When faced without a challenge, make one.

  12. “No” simply means begin again at one level higher.

  13. Don’t walk when you can run.

  14. Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary.

  15. When in doubt: THINK.

  16. Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.

  17. The squeaky wheel gets replace.

  18. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.

  19. The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself!

  20. The ratio of something to nothing is infinite.

  21. You get what you incentivize.

  22. If you think it is impossible, then it is … for you.

  23. An expert is someone who can tell you exactly how it can’t be done.

  24. The day before something is a breakthrough, it’s a crazy idea.

  25. If it were easy, it would have been done already.

  26. Without a target you will miss it every time.

  27. Bullshit walks, hardware talks.

  28. A crisis is a terrible thing to waste.

  29. The world’s most precious resource is the passionate and committed human mind.

  30. If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.

 

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M|M|C Report – They are all round. What’s the difference?

circle241-relax-and-succeed-upward-spiral-downward-spiral

 

 

 

Please take a look at the above graphs. Basically they are all type of round, but do you see the difference? Don’t worry about the words, just take a look at the structure.

See that? They can be flat, upwards or downwards, even though the cross-sectional views are all round.

Most of us have learned about the upward and downward spirals. We know that upward spirals represents growth, improvement, increase, which will lead to success, happiness and the good stuffs; while downward spirals are signals of decrease, dragging, deterioration, which will lead to the negativity. When things or we are on the upward spiral, we know that things are getting better, economy are going up, business is prospering, and we will keep doing what we are doing right now to keep the momentum. On the contrary, when things or we are on the downward spirals, we know things are not going so well, productivity suffers, future seems dim and not much is achieved, when we will change what we are doing and do something different.

The spirals are also a symbol of how to deal with hurdles, setbacks and challenges in our lives. When we demonstrate perseverance, resilience, positivity and optimism, we can see our path is going up, like the upward spirals. Even though there are times that it seems we are back to zero, we are actually stand on a higher level of zero and start from the higher starting point to accumulate the achievement. However, if we always see the dark side, practice procrastination, shift responsibilities to others, it seems that we are not the problem, but in the meantime, we are not growing, the whole project or business is not growing, because we are not nurturing growth, we are not facilitating communication, we are avoiding reality and shun from criticism. It is obviously that we know which type of spiral to create.

However, how about the flat one? Where does it lead to? It is a representation of MOTION. In one of my recent training classes, we discussed the difference between MOTION and ACTION. The results is kind of controversial, but I would like to share it with you. Some people  say they are the same process; some people say motion leads to action and action needs motion; some people say motion is driven by desire and action deliver the result. Every answer has its legitimacy based on the person’s experience and habit. It was one of James Clear’s blog opened my thoughts. Take a look at some of the examples he listed:

  • If I outline 20 ideas for articles I want to write, that’s motion. If I actually write and publish an article, that’s action.
  • If I email 10 new leads for my business and start conversations with them, that’s motion. If they actually buy something and turn into a customer, that’s action.
  • If I search for a better diet plan and read a few books on the topic, that’s motion. If I actually eat a healthy meal, that’s action.
  • If I go to the gym and ask about getting a personal trainer, that’s motion. If I actually step under the bar and start squatting, that’s action.
  • If I study for a test or prepare for a research project, that’s motion. If I actually take the test or write my research paper, that’s action.

Do you see the difference? Motion can never, by itself, lead to the results that you want to achieve. Most of the time, motion leaves us an impression that we are busy, so we say to ourselves that we are making progress; motion might set up a perfect circle in disguise of trap that we keep coming back to on our way to success. The books on success always talk about get up where we fall, but please do not miss a point. The essential benefit of that fall is to learn from the fall and do something different. Otherwise, we are on the flat circle. We fall exactly where we fell last time, the time before last…. The impression is that we are bouncing back, but the reality is we are not progressing, because we are not delivering results and nothing can be achieved this way, except for a more tolerant attitude. This is a kind of false optimism.

Please wake up from the circle mentality that you are not aware of. The only sign of progress is delivery of results. PERIOD. We can say others’ are picky, are judgmental, bias, not understanding, whatever you name it, but at the end of the day, the best tool to make them shut up is the result we deliver. We can only build results on results. It is absolutely a step by step journey. No single step can be missed if we want to build a solid kingdom of our wealth, fame and success.

Don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.

– Alfred A. Montapert (the author of The Supreme Philosophy of Man: The Laws of Life)

To your success.

Hanh Consulting

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W|D|R – How are you today?

greif and loveI read through Sheryl Sandberg’s post on Facebook in memory of her late husband with tears in my eyes. From the plain and simple language, I felt she was telling us from the bottom of her heart how she got back on track after the sudden tragedy. I can see her telling the story with tears in her eyes, yet in firm and confirming voice. She is telling us how to deal with our griefs with acceptance, acknowledgement, resilience and gratitude. To accept the loss, but not sinking into the emptiness of loss forever; to acknowledge the pain, be more open and vulnerable to let those who really care in, but not avoiding; to get back to do what’s really important, but not settling for the end of the world; to express the gratitude to what life teaches us and to people who try to help, but not giving up and giving in. It is when we realize that our life has a meaning, and on the way to find that meaning, that we really learn to accept, acknowledge, bounce back and appreciate.

I got another email from my previous workplace that a senior partner passed away yesterday. I didn’t have much contact with him, but we briefly talked once or twice. It is sad but it is part of life. It is always when we face significant incidence, like death, loss of loved ones, that we rethink about our lives.

The cliche says, “Life is short, enjoy it.”. However, what is “enjoy”? Does it mean we should live one day at a time like a passer-by? Does it mean we should indulge in the entice like no tomorrow? Does it mean we should settle for what we have for fear of losing it? Does it mean we should slow down our pace to make effort for the sake of “don’t worry, be happy”? Yes, we can. But what we get is never gonna be enjoy, because when we “enjoy” life like that, we put our responsibility aside, we let go our accountability to ourselves, we lose sight of our meaning in life. If that meaning and pursuit is that important to us, we will always find a way to get there; or else, we can always find excuses.

It is always when we keep our words, when we stick to our promise, when we fulfill our mission, when we deliver the results, can we really sit down and enjoy life. It is only at that time, can we say we follow the meaning of our lives and make a difference.

Acceptance of the things are not gonna be the same but still get it done is more optimistic than believing thing will be better.

Take back the groundless optimism and build a strong heart to hold ourselves accountable.

It can be hard, but it won’t be hard than grieving for a lost love. When we take the actions to face what life throw at us, we can finally ask ourselves, “How are you today?”

There’s no end to grief….and there is no end to love.

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