- “If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.” – Stephen R. Covey,
- “Let him who would move the world, first move himself.” – Socrates
- If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self. – Napoleon Hill
- “Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.” ― C.G. Jung
- “The ego relies on the familiar. It is reluctant to experience the unknown, which is the very essence of life.” – Deepak Chopra,
- “If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.” – C.S. Lewis
- “You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.” – George Clooney
They are all talking about one thing – EGO. Ego is the shell we have over ourselves. It is the safety net we have to protect our soft inside. We know when something or someone touches our ego when we feel threaten or challenged. In return, we hold that protection so high that it seems nothings can break it. However, the moment we do this, we are defeated from the inside out already.
If there’s one thing we can draw from the quotes, it will be to break our egos. In another word, don’t take ourselves too seriously and be open-minded. We will be able to master self-awareness when we can recognize our ego and that we understand ego is a functional part of our mind, instead of the essence of who we are. The challenge of being aware of our ego is that our mind has been programmed to believe it (ego) is us.
No one is perfect. No one is right all the time. Neither are we. So the best thing and the kindest things we can do for ourselves is to be the bigger person, skip the “e” and let go. Let go of the win-all-the-time mentality. Let go of the I-am-right attitude. Let go of the defensiveness and let go of the justifications. Simply step down the ladder and breathe. The more we practice being true to ourselves, the more we will be mindful of the defensiveness when we feel something or someone is approaching our ego.
We shouldn’t lose our identity and we must stick to our goals, but it doesn’t mean we should stay in our small world and germinate our ego. The more easily we feel our ego is hurt, the softer our inside is, because we need to fight back strong to protect that soft kernel. What if we relax and detach ourselves from holding on to “I” and switch our focus to something greater than “I”.
We know that spectators see things clearer than the insiders. What if we shut up and just listen with both our ears and heart to someone who is trying to help us and make a point. Instead of rushing into justify why they are wrong and telling them “what you are saying doesn’t help”, we say to ourselves “maybe that’s something I can try.” Conversation in a real and true relationship is never about competition, but about cooperation and compromise, for the continuance and nourishing of the relationship. When someone approaches us with sincerity and care, which we know for sure, why can’t we let them show their care and support by really listen to what they bring, let them feel appreciated and create that incentive so that they will continue the support and care that are vital to our growth.
Bottom line is we need to identify when to let go the ego. Let the communication flow and the conversation continue. The letting go doesn’t mean we are wrong, but we value the presence of that person and the relationship more than our ego. The awareness will lead us to our personal development where our desire to overcome limitations and experience love will change us. We will be able to learn to take responsibility for our thoughts, emotions and behavior.
To your success.
Happy Attitude Nourish Harvest. – Activate the H.A.N.H. in you.