Monthly Archives: September 2013

Some quotes to think about…

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To apologize doesn’t mean you’re always at fault, but you treasure that relationship more.

To love doesn’t mean to find a perfect person, but learn to appreciate an imperfect person with your perfect vision.

To be faithful doesn’t mean loving only one person in your whole life, but loving the person wholeheartedly when you are in love.

Elegance is not to be disguised as fame and status. It is a condense of mind and quality.

Charm is not built on power and fortune but on ability and wisdom.

Sometimes forgiving someone doesn’t mean we really are willing to forgive, but we don’t want to lose that person.

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Enthusiasm

1. Absorbing or controlling possession of the mind by any interest or pursuit; lively interest:

2. An occupation, activity, or pursuit in which such interest is shown.

3. Any of various forms of extreme religious devotion, usually associated with intense emotionalism and a break with orthodoxy.

I had a plaque that was given to me by a friend of mine a long time a go. It reads, “Enthusiasm is like a ripple in water…it spreads.” I think about that all the time and often wonder what I’m enthuse about and what it is I am really spreading.

I realize that I am really enthuse about LIFE and I genuinely love helping PEOPLE. When you enthuse about something, you feel excited doing it. Excitement is a production factory of transference of energy, a factory that produces energy. People like to be around those who are full of energy and who are excited at the moment. Your excitement spreads to the people around you. They want to know why and be a part of it. They want to run away from their negativity because the excitement makes them feel so good. It makes people feel unstoppable, like you can do anything.

So get excited, be enthuse about things and find your passion. “Just Do It” as Nike would say, and let the rest take care of itself. That’s where the saying comes from, do what you love and you will be successful; I say, do the right thing and everything else will follow. Don’t think of money or success, just do it.

Just Live.
If you de-value yourself, then that’s what you’re worth.
Don’t worry about living, just live.
Don’t think about things, live big and think big.
Don’t chase anything, just do and let it come.

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Meaning of friend

My buddy came back and we had a long talk about the disputes we had before he left.  It turned out that I was a little overreacted on his non-communication.  He was just tied up with something in the other city and didn’t have the chance to respond.

Actually, both of us had learned something from this incident.  My buddy told me even though he was mad at me not able to listen to him vent and escalated the situation by yelling at him; after he read my messages and posts apologizing and explaining my concerns, he better understood the meaning of friends – not letting any conflict staying in between and the bravery to step up to solutions.   For me, what I learned is that being a friend means be there and listen.  I’ve read quite some articles on active listening.  All of them mentioned “No judging”.  It’s hard to do, I should say; but it is the most valuable attitude when listening to someone talking as a friend.  He or she might not need a solution but just to vent.  At the end, they will find their way-out on their own.

Friend is different from an acquaintance or a relative, esp. in crisis. Being an acquaintance, you can walk away at any time without having any feelings. The other party will not have expectations of your acceptance or understanding. Being a relative, you are not able to walk away. You have the ethical responsibility to be there and express support. Being a friend means you choose to be there for the other party intentionally despite of the situation because of mutual understanding and respect. You don’t expect anything in return but the well-being of the other party. Being honest, caring, faithful, forgiving, respectful and supportive are what make friend a special person in one’s life.

This unexpected problem is so in time that it taught us the deeper understanding of friendship.

Good work, buddy! Cheers!

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How are you, buddy?

Hey buddy, how are you doing? I’m kind of losing touch with you. It might be because you’re out of town. But what my concern is that before you left, we had a big fight over some critical issues. Please forgive me for what I said. I’ve thought about it, and in some ways, you might be right.

You talked about the negativities in your life. They are frustrating, distracting and destructive. Periodic negativity is acceptable, but when it comes again and again as a daily conversation, it creates severe hurdles in our life, nothing is right, nobody is right. Buddy, you are a good listener and you’re always the go-to person among friends, so you’ve taken on so many problems from the complainers, which add to your own. You said you didn’t want to share your problems with friends because you know what your problems are. You know, identifying the problems is the first step of problem-solving. The next step is to do something to deal with it, taking actions, as you always said; otherwise, the problems keep cluttering in your life and they will drag you down ultimately. So when you need help, you should go and find help. Let the people looking out for you get access to your heart.

On the one hand, you are excited when other people acknowledge your superior quality, because you listen to them and lead them; on the other hand, you think it’s too much of listening. The timely frustration is the price of the acknowledgement, because it’s hard to separate what we’ve been exposed to from our own thinking. It’s advisable to practice selective listening. Pick what you want to take in and let the dragging part go through your ears.

Avoiding negativity doesn’t mean shutting the person out, because the negativity may come from a bad mood. Also distinguish advice from negativity. If a criticism is followed by the how-to improve, then it’s not dumping negativity or problem on you.

What I learned from Mitch Albom’s novels is that love, forgiveness and a little faith will lead to happiness in our lives. Isn’t that what you want, too? We don’t need to wait till the last minute of our lives to understand the value of those gifts. We have a life time to communicate and share.

Wish you all the best!

Your best buddy

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Home

Home

“A soldier’s little girl, whose father was being moved to a distant post, was sitting at the airport among her family’s meager belongings.”

“The girl was sleepy. She leaned against the packs and duffel bags.”

“A lady came by, stopped, and patted her on the head.”

“‘Poor child,’ she said. ‘You haven’t got a home.'”

“The child looked up in surprise.”

“‘But we do have a home,’ she said. ‘We just don’t have a house to put it in.”

This is one of the sermons of the well-respected Rabbi in Have a Little Faith, by Mitch Altom.

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by | September 12, 2013 · 8:50 pm

Forgive

Just finished reading For One More Day by Mitch Albom. It is such a warm and touching story. There can be wonderful moments in an ordinary day, like the Mom says. Why wait till that day to deal with the questions, problems and misunderstandings? We have a life with our loved one. Isn’t it long enough?

The story is like this:

As a child, Charley Bennetto is told by his father, “You can be a mama’s boy or you can be a daddy’s boy, but you can’t be both.” So he chooses his father, and he worships him right up to the day he disappears. An eleven-year-old Charley has to turn to his mother, who bravely raises him and his younger sister on her own, despite Charley’s embarrassment and yearnings for a complete family.

Decades later, Charley is a broken man. His life is miserable with alcohol and regret. He loses his job. He leaves his family. He hits bottom after discovering that his only daughter has shut him out of her wedding.

And he decides to take his life.

He makes a midnight ride to his small hometown, with plans to do himself in. But after failing even to do that, he staggers back to his old house, only to make an astonishing discovery. His mother, who died eight years earlier, is still living there, and welcomes him home as if nothing had ever happened.

He spends one “ordinary” day, which is a chance so many of us yearn for, to make good with a lost parent, to explain family secrets, and to seek forgiveness, forgiving himself.

There can be precious moments even on an ordinary day. Charley finally makes peace with himself and finds the balance of his life. His final thoughts are quite touching:

“I feel ashamed now that I tried to take my life. It is such a precious thing. I had no one to talk me out of my despair, and that was a mistake. You need to keep people close. You need to give them access to your heart…..

I’ve thought a lot about that night. I believe my mother saved my life. I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you’ll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn’t.

But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins…”

We need to learn to forgive. Forgive the people who did us wrong, forgive our enemies, and mostly forgive ourselves. “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.- Indira Gandhi” “Forgiveness is the final form of love. – Reinhold Niebuhr” When we forgive, we will in no way change the past, but we sure can change the future.

Unload the burden of hatred and blame, give yourself a lift for your soul, and you will be on your way to fulfillment.

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FRIEND

FRIEND

A friend is some one who is

For a life time,

Reminding you who you are and Ready to accept you no matter good or bad;

Inspiring you to stick to your journey no matter easy or hard and In time to check on your progress;

Empathetic to your sadness and frustrations and Encourage you to stand on your feet again;

Nurturing the positive in you and Never leave you behind when negativity bothers you;

Dedicating to foster the friendship and Defend you from any doubt you have in life.

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by | September 10, 2013 · 2:32 pm

Negativity

You were shut off by someone while talking about the endless frustrations from the negativities around you every day, but what you wanted was just to vent. That person’s rage was beyond your level of understanding.

Put that baffling aside for now. Starting somewhere else means you unintentionally wipe off all that you have built here. Are you not satisfied with what you’ve achieved? Is it fair for yourself?

It is good for you to think of removing yourself from the negativity around you. It means that you care about your own wellbeing. However, life might repeat itself somewhere else. We have to know how to immune from negativity.

Life is full of ups and downs. Acknowledge the negativity, accept it and take it as a lesson but not a reason to ruin our days. Focus on the negativity only gives it power to control and ruin our lives. We grow and develop from the negatives when we accept them and learn from them. Relax, let go and enjoy the ride.

Be the positive one we want to see in our life. We can’t always save the world, but we can make the world a better place by implementing what we preach. Focus on light topics with negative people, such as positive topics, common friends, hobbies and happy news. We can shift their negativity, even if just for a little while.

Come up with solutions. Don’t linger on what went wrong, but focus on the next step towards a positive solution. Instead of arguing who is right and who is wrong, think of ways to make it right. It might be a reminder to the folks to bring ID before going to pick up mail from the post office, or coming up with a down-to-earth plan to help the client establish a workout habit. Remember, “When you focus on solutions, by thinking and acting positively, sound becomes music, movement becomes dance, a smile becomes laughter, and life become a celebration. – Marc and Angel.”

Negative people behave negatively not just to us, but to everyone around them, so don’t take their negativity personally. In other words, we are not the only “victim”. The problem isn’t the people who are negative, but the way we react to them. Don’t punish ourselves with other’s attitudes.

It isn’t easy to remain positive when negativity is around. Think of it this way: An entire body of water the size of the Pacific Ocean can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, all the negativity in the world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside your head.  People who are able to discern the positive points in negative situations are the ones who prosper in the long run. 

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Show Up

1. To be clearly visible.

2. To put in an appearance; arrive.

3. To expose or reveal the true character or nature of: showed their efforts up as a waste of time.

I had to run some errands after dinner, so I ended up being late for my bootcamp.  When I got there, everybody was already in the middle of the routine; while I had to start from warm-up. So the whole evening, I kept catching up, but always had the feelings of being left behind. Being a perfectionist, to my own belief, being left behind is unacceptable.

After it was over, my coach came up to me and asked “Hey, buddy, what’s up? You look sad today.” Hesitated, I replied, “I hate being late.” “Well, did you sweat? Did you have some good workout?” I nodded, “Then it’s good. Tony Horton said that the most important thing is to show up. Attitude is everything, buddy, good work tonight and keep it up!” He walked away cheerfully and left me standing there thinking.

It’s so true. The point of being at the bootcamp is to have some workout, to sweat and get fit. Has all those been achieved? Yes. Then there’s no point of feeling sad, left behind, or imperfect. I showed up and finished my exercises. The moment of presence is what really counts. It’s like when we set the goals and stick to it along the way till they are reached. It can’t be flowers, sun shine and breeze all the time, but isn’t the rainbows after a thunderstorm as beautiful as blossoms?

I let go a big exhale and started my car.

“Show up and press the Play button.”

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