Monthly Archives: August 2013

Detach/Detachment

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“Detach yourself from the opinions of others;
from the habit of judging or controlling others;
from the past;
from the need to be right and to win;
from an obsession with material things.
Follow your passion in life,
but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.” 

- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Detach

1. To separate or unfasten; disconnect
2. To remove from association or union with something: detach a calf from its mother; detached herself from the group.
3. To send (troops or ships, for example) on a special mission.
 
Detachment

1. the state of not being influenced by emotion or prejudice.
2. the act of detaching.
3. a group (especially of soldiers). A detachment was sent to guard the supplies.

My understanding of Dr. Dyer’s above quotes is that we will get the peace, happiness, satisfaction and enjoyment in our lives when we come to equanimity with anything outside of us, physical and emotional.

Physical attachment will confine us in the pursuit of money, status, fame, relationship (certain people), anything that in the realm of possession. Physical attachments can be lost, and we feel loss and disappointment that we can’t have what we want.

Emotional attachment will tie us with certain ideas, opinions, relationships (certain feelings), and feelings that may influence our thinking, mood and attitude. Emotional attachment can be missing, and we get frustrated that the world doesn’t conform to our ideas and opinions.

The more attachments we create, the more frustrated we may get, because literally we attach our level of happiness to these attachments and they become the decisive factors of our lives. They silently steal the freedom we really have. We don’t realize how much of our lives are spent in pursuit of the things that we think can make us happy. When we get what we want, we don’t stay long before we start to chase something else. We don’t realize how much of our lives are spent chasing the things that we think we have to have to make us happy. When we can’t have them, we become disappointed. The worry, the disappointment, the anxiety and the prejudice are all attachments that are created from the things we think can make us happy.

Detach from the external things. Stop giving them the power to make us miserable. Free from the cycle of chasing what we want and avoiding what we don’t want. Go back to equanimity and Live the moment.

ACTION!

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Chase

1. to pursue in order to seize, overtake, etc.: The police officer chased the thief.

2. to pursue with intent to capture or kill, as game; hunt: to chase deer.

3. to follow or devote one’s attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining, etc.: He chased her for three years before she consented to marry him.

4. to drive or expel by force, threat, or harassment: She chased the cat out of the room.

5. to follow in pursuit: to chase after someone.

6. to rush or hasten: We spent the weekend chasing around from one store to another.

All the meanings refer to one thing; “we only chase things that are trying to get away”.  We spend our whole life chasing. Everything we need or want becomes a chase, and men do it more than women.

Stop chasing and let whatever you are chasing comes to you. Find ways to attract whatever you’re chasing. Learn how to attract rather than chase.

Start attracting today #Attract

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Home

After six days away, after 3000km-drive, we were finally home.

The moment I passed the gate at the customs, I felt like coming back home. The moment our GPS announced “You’ve reached your destination.”, a closer feeling of being home. The kids cheered, as they’ve been saying, that’s their favourite. They say, they could sleep on their own beds, play their familiar toys and know every where around. For me, I get to use my kitchen and make my own food.

There are so many excitements and so much to see on a trip, delicious food to taste, comfortable hotel rooms to enjoy, no hassle of cooking and cleaning…The other good thing about a trip is that you know you’ll always go back to that cozy and familiar place called home. That is why we feel so relaxed on a trip, because we know we have a root somewhere that is waiting for us, always.

Home:

1. a: one’s place of residence: domicile; b: house

2. the social unit formed by a family living together

3. a: a familiar or usual setting : congenial environment; also : the focus of one’s domestic attention <home is where the heart is>; b: habitat

4. a: a place of origin <salmon returning to their home to spawn>; also : one’s own country <having troubles at home and abroad>; b: headquarters:<home of the company>

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Timeshare

Blue sky, white clouds, moisturizing breeze, colourful sun shades, just to name a few, are what we saw and felt at this well-known beach by the North Atlantic Ocean.

Before our trip we were a little worried as the weather forecast showed that it might rain on the days of our trip. However, it turned out to be a perfect day for the beach. The sunshine, the heat, the waves and the sound, whatever you want to get on a beach day, we got it. Hopefully I got a beautiful tan. We enjoyed the slow and relaxing pace so much. As the kids were building their sandcastles and picking up their treasures from the beach, we just enjoyed the freedom to be idled, not to thinking about anything but relax. This is such a luxury.

During our trip at the beach, we attended a presentation of timeshare. We got to know the improvements in this program, visited the luxurious model units and got to know the unlimited options of vacation destinations. The video was a big entertainment to the eyes. The interviews of the current owners were very persuasive. Everything sounds so enticing that it seems that we are to get the ownership and the freedom to the dream vacation wherever we want to.

Well, there’s no free lunch, which is the ever-lasting truth. In order to get the freedom, you’ve got to pay the price, the price for the ownership, the maintenance fee, the club due… At the summary, it comes to a number that we don’t think we are ready to pay at this moment; or with the available options from other sources, we might get some not-so-luxurious vacations. The program represents a very good concept that you may lock the cost of your vacation despite the inflation with the time. However, it’s just not the right time for us.

Timesharing is a business concept. For us, what we get from the contract is to secure the location we want for the vacation. On second thought, what makes the biggest part of the vacation is the people who go on the vacation with us. We share the time together to build up the bond, strengthen the relationship and have some fun. At the end of the day, it is the memories that value the most. So it doesn’t really matter where we go, but how we share the time together. Ok, timesharing is not so practical for us now, but sharing time together with our loved ones is what we can do all the time.

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Happy in my heart

“I don’t know for what reason, I feel happy in my heart.” That’s what my daughter told me this morning. She acted happily throughout the day.

Have you ever felt happiness in your heart? I’ll tell you what happened to my daughter. She had an infection in her throat for quite a few days, but was kind of ignored by us, as she didn’t have a fever. However, I had to take her to emergency the night before our family trip, as I felt something was not right. It turned out to be an infection. The doctor at the emergency had to call an ENT specialist for the diagnosis. The specialist prescribed an antibiotic to take three times a day and I finally felt confirmed that she would be fine after taking the medicine.

The medicine came in capsules, which is kind of bigger for her swallen throat, so the first time she took the capsule was a terrible experience. She threw up quite a few times and finally the medicine was in the sink. On the morning of our trip, I had to force her to take the medicine. At lunch time, as we are in the restautant, I really couldn’t do much of the forcing. So I used more encouragement, story-telling and sweet-talking. She ended up swallow the pill after spit it out twice. She smiled sweetly and satisfied afterwards. “Well done.” I said, “Next time it would be one-spit and done, ok?”

At dinner time, I could feel, she made a huge determination after hesitation and hesitation before putting the pill in her mouth. She did it after spitting once. So this morning at breakfast table in the hotel, she did it again after delaying and hesitation. It is after she did it, she came to me and told me that sweetest thing. I guess the happiness comes from conquering the fear of taking the medicine, a kind of accomplishment. I doubt this 6 year old can have that high level of comprehension, but it’s understandable that such a conquer can make her feel so happy.

Next time when you feel like looking for happiness in your life, try to find that little spark which can be as easy as or as hard as removing that spider web from the basement. ;-)

That’s it.

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(W.O.R.D) SUBLIME:

Sublime:

 

1. Elevated or lofty in thought, language: It’s Monday the beginning of a new week. Place yourself in Sublime thoughts today,   #Elevate.

2. Impressing the mind with a sense of grandeur or power; inspiring awe, veneration. Show the world who you are, be the envy and the leader of others. #Greatness

3. Supreme or outstanding: Feel supreme, be outstanding, but be humble. #Calm

4. Complete; absolute; utter: Be complete but never absolute. Learn something new every day, help someone everyday and be good to number one (self) everyday. #Giver

If you give only to everyone else, you will not have any left for yourself. So, give to yourself first and everyone else after. #Number One

                                                                                                                     Link

Read, Learn, Grow, Develop, Power, Mind, Matter, Give, Help and Inspire 

 

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Joy

Meaning:

a. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.
b. The expression or manifestation of such feeling.
c. A source or an object of pleasure or satisfaction: their only child, their pride and joy.

Sir Terry Pratchett told us, “Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.”

I just finished my workout, sweaty, panting and still feeling sore, but I have a light feeling inside. It is the joy after keeping my commitment to workout. There are other random moments, watching the stew bubbling in the wok, hearing my kids giggling in the backyard, smelling the sweetness of the cake baking in the oven, feeling my daughter’s fluffy huggy, noticing the tomatoes appearing on the vine – when I have the same kind of feeling, a surge of joy.

Joy is that simple. You don’t need to chase it, because it is within. It is what you feel about the things happening around. If you feel the joy around you, nobody can take it away.

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.”

- Helen Keller

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Fall in love

Once my little princess and little prince were playing in the park. My little princess found a worm in the ground. The little prince said right away, “Let’s find another one, so they could fall in love.” I couldn’t help cracked laughing.

Is it so precious? It takes two to fall in love and it means more to stay in love.

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Perseverance

Meaning: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

John D. Rockefeller once said, “I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.” A quite similar example is a Chinese fable that I learned when I was young.

The story tells about an old man in his nineties, called Yu Gong, trying to move two high mountains away from the front of his house. In order to do something on the other side of the mountains, the old man’s family had to walk a long way around the mountains. So the old man decided to move the mountains to other places. Despite the questionings of his family and neighbours, he led his sons to dig the mountains. Another old man considering himself wiser laughed at Yu Gong saying, “You’re so silly! You are so old and weak that you can’t even take away the grass and trees, how can you move the high mountains?” This is what Yu Gong replied while continuing digging,

“Even when I die, I shall have sons surviving me. My sons will beget me more grandsons. My grandsons in their turns will have sons, and these will have more sons and grandsons. My descendants will go on forever, but the mountains will get no bigger. Why should there by any difficulty about levelling it?”

Yu Gong’s perseverance and determination finally moved the Heaven God. He then ordered another god to come down and take the two high mountains away.

This story tells us that as long as one is determined and sticks to it long enough, anything can be done, no matter how difficult it is. This is what we call perseverance.

There are challenges, obstacles and detours in our lives. We must have the perseverance and full confidence in ourselves, knowing that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.

With a clear life plan and the perseverance to carry it out, success is waiting for you ahead. Along this route, you must keep running those many short races one after another to build up your perseverance and transform your life.

Don’t be a stander-by. Bend your back on your way.

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Settle for

Meaning: to take something that is less than satisfying.

Word of the day – (Never) settle for

Imagine you’re facing two work options. The following chart lists the Plus and Minus of each option:

 

Job on the road

Plus

Minus

+    A lot of freedom;

+    Time to meet the customers for own business;

+    Commission

-   Unstable income;

-   Gas cost like crazy;

-   Uncertain working hours;

-   Long working hours;

-   Very little time for self development;

-   Low-end sales without growth.

 

Job in the office

Plus

Minus

+    Stable income (financial security);

+    Benefit & insurance package;

+    In the field of interests;

+    Time for self development after work, professionally and personally;

+    Time to grow own business, updating profiles, following up with customers;

+    Better working environment;

+    Growth with the position.

-    Fewer chances of being on the road;

-    Fixed income, no commission;

-    Have to go through interviews.

If you’re doing the job-on-the-road, because you are waiting for the time to grow your own business, make sure don’t settle for it. Since you have been doing the job-on-the-road for so long, that it becomes of little value, which means you don’t need the job. Take actions to look for the other option. Well, you can still do the current job until you find something else, but make sure to do something seriously to change. No action means settle for. You’ll never get something satisfactory, because you take the less satisfying stuff.

Never settle for less when you deserve more.”

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