Monthly Archives: July 2013

A Lift For Your Soul

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The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom

Eddie, a war veteran, feels trapped in his father’s hard labour before him, fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. As the park changes over the years, from the Loop-the-Loop to the Pipeline Plunge, so has Eddie, from an optimistic young man to a resentful old fellow. His days are filled with dull routine of work, loneliness and regret.

At the age of 83, he died of a tragic accident, trying to save a little girl from the falling cart. After his life, he meets five people in heaven, who come to explain his earthly life and totally change his way of thinking about his own life.

The Blue Man, a stranger who died from an accident avoiding hitting Eddie, the boy who runs in front of the car chasing a ball. What he teaches Eddie is:
“Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know.”
“No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”

The Capitan, who was killed by the land mine on the way to transport seriously wounded Eddie from the battlefield. He teaches Eddie:
“No one gets left behind.”
“Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifice. Big sacrifice. A mother works so her son can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father….”
“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.”

The old woman, Ruby, previous owner of Ruby Pier, the amusement park, who witnesses the last days of Eddie’s father. Eddie has so much resentment on his father for ruining his childhood, ignoring him and be cruel to him. He doesn’t speak to his father for years and years. What Eddie learned from Ruby is that:
“You have peace, when you make it with yourself.”
“Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”

Marguerite, his wife. The only woman Eddie has ever loved in his live. She tells Eddie, “Lost love is still love. It takes a different for, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it, You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn’t.”

The girl, whom Eddie failed to save back in war time. After she hears what Eddie says about his life “I didn’t do anything with my life. I was nothing. I accomplish nothing. I was lost. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there (fixing the rides in the amusement park).” She insists that, “(You) Supposed to be there. Children. You keep them safe. You make good for me…Is where you were supposed to be.”

Cleanse your mind, your thinking and your soul. Rethink your path. Enjoy what you have and give it a lift.

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Open up and let opps in

Everyone wants to achieve financial success, but there are only a few that are willing to do whatever it takes (legally) to achieve it.

 

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always got”

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Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

I read an article about one of the victims of the Danzig Street shooting.  Joshua Yasay, the 23 year old newly graduate, had a long way ahead of him. His favourite quote is from Mahatma Gandhi, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” I think it was this quote that motivated the young man to be active in his life. It is so sad that the clock stopped ticking at that point. In memory of such a young life, I will keep in mind of the quote. Precious every day that we are alive. It is a blessing.

I’ll share a post of one of my friends. Keep regrets away from our lives by acting conscientiously NOW.

* * * * * * * * * * 
“With the coming of June 19, my parents’ visit to us came to an end; all the face-to-face greetings and conversations, all the hugs and pats came to an end.  It was harder than I expected.  I remember when my co-work reminded me to take it easy upon my parents’ leaving, I simply said I just didn’t think about it.  I tried to make the departure easy and relax.  The whole morning was well scheduled.  My mom and I sent the kids to school like usual.  Later we did what we did times and times again, final weighing the luggage, making sure they were not overweight.  We made dumplings, which is the typical food for departure.  My dad went to pick up the kids before lunch time.  Nobody mentioned about all those last times for this visit.
 
We finally were on our way to the airport.  Even after we got to the airport, I was busy with their luggage check-in, repack and check-in again…
 
At the gate of the security check, I made sure they have all their papers with them.  We waved to each other while they were approaching the gate.  It was until they turned around, I found out that I couldn’t help myself but burst into tears.  I couldn’t explain why I started to cry, but simply couldn’t hold the tears back.  I didn’t want them to see me in tears, so I turned around, but I just couldn’t stop.  Right before they entered the gate, my dad ran over to me, held my hands and said “Bye bye, my daughter.  You promise to take care of yourself.  I will wave to you after we get through, so you may leave earlier.”  I heard the chocking in his voice.  He rarely expresses his feelings explicitly, so I knew how strong his feelings were at that moment.  The scene had been coming back to me again and again till now.
 
I was joking with my friend today that I am coping with post-parents-departure syndrome (PPDS).  I can’t stay in their room for more than 5 minutes, because I will feel the emptiness in the house and in my heart.  I can’t stop my tears thinking of the scene and my dad’s words.  I feel regret that I could have been a better listener, be more patient and ignored minor differences.  I keep telling myself I could have spent more time with them; I could have brought them to more places; I could have……
 
They will come back, I know, which makes me feel better, as I have another opportunity to make it right; but how about situations that couldn’t be reversed.  Except for feeling regret and repeat “I could have…” and “I should have…”, there must be something we can do to do it right at the beginning.  As a Chinese saying says “there’s no cure for regret.”.  My interpretation is to do things and treat people the way which you won’t feel regret if you die right there right then, as there’s no another opportunity for you to correct your behaviour.”
* * * * * * * * * *

 

Re-read “Three Days To See” by Helen Keller.

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Drive that fear in you, or be driven

The parents squeeze their 10-year-old daughter, Lily, into the oven and turn on the heat. The flame is on and the poor girl starts to scream. Luckily, the smart girl called her case work, Emily, when she felt the upcoming tragedy. Emily and Detective, Mike, break into the house, forced open the oven and save the girl. The devil parents are sent to a mental institution waiting for sentencing. Fortunately this is just the opening scene of Case 39, an American psychological horror film.

Such a girl with beautiful, innocent and tranquilizing eyes mysteriously leads to the destructions of people around her. A boy murders his parents after receiving a call from Lily. Emily’s best friend, who gives Lily a psychiatric evaluation kills himself after feeling the subtle threatening from Lily when he tells her his fear of hornets. Lily’s mother is fatally burnt in the mental institution and her father is stabbed in the eye after attacking a fellow inmate through whom the voice of Lily spoke. Detective Mike inadvertently shoots himself dead when Lily makes him imagine being attacked by a dog. Even in the end, while Emily tries to kill the demon following Lily’s father’s advice, Lily makes her experience the day her mother died of a traffic accident when she was a girl, which she fears to talk about all these years.

Emily finally drives the car into the sea. She traps the demon in the car and manages to swim to the surface. Emily climbs on the pier and attempts to recover from the ordeal.

Can a 10-year-old girl really have the power to lead so many people to destruction, or it is something within us already? We always have fears somehow. It could be an object, a bad memory, a break of relationship, a threat from certain people or certain things, a change, or the unknown, you name it. No matter what it is, we should learn to acknowledge, confront and take ownership of the fear to keep it from holding us back in life.
•Acknowledging it by naming it or writing it down, so as to let the fears surface and be tracked down. It’s ok to let yourself be afraid sometimes. Fear builds character and teaches us how to act with courage.
•Defining your fear as something with a beginning and an end, so that it is easier for you to see the shape of your fear and you will be able to handle it more effectively.
•Picturing the outcome you desire by taking smaller concrete steps to change yourself to overcome your fear.

To drive, or be driven.

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by | July 12, 2013 · 8:55 pm

A Ramp Up

Your eyes are deep that penetrate my heart.
Your lips are soft that bring my passion to life.
Your voice is tranquilizing that smooth my anxiety and concerns.
Your touches are passionate that fire up my desire.

You give me wings that make me fly.
You bring my faith back to me that I am everything I am.
You hold me up so I stand tall.
You see the best that is in me.

Crazy for you, Honey
My baby who I can die for.
Crazy for you, Honey
A legend that I will pursue all my life.

I want to warm your cold nights.
I want to be the harbour along your solo journey.
I want to tell you you’re loved.
I want to be with you through and through.
My world is a better place because of you.
All that I want you to know is
I am crazy for you.

Express your love and affection to your loved ones and let them know how much you appreciate their presence and tell them that they are loved, too.

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First Step in Communication…

We always try to keep positive and be successful. But do you know why from time to time we feel lonely, embarrassed or confused? It is because we have problems communicating with the surroundings, esp. people around us.

While communicating with people, the most challenging part is how to let them be open and be themselves to us. One thing to keep in mind is that it can’t be done through logical thinking or reasoning, but more likely depends on our EQ. Humanity can be strong, but it can also be fragile. As long as we find the essence and treat it heartedly, we can create that inter-dependable relationship with anybody.

The first step to that creation is to understand human and humanity. We can only become the experts in communication, if we have a correct understanding of human and humanity and understanding the reasons behind certain human behaviours under specific situations. Simply put, we must acknowledge other people by their natures and put ourselves in their shoes, rather than judge them, let alone impose our wills upon them.

The interesting thing about humanity is that we care about ourselves a thousand times more than about anybody or anything else. We will satisfy our needs first, for example, the rewards of the donors in Philanthropy are the satisfaction and pride from their donations and the joys that derived from such satisfaction and pride, rather than the actual meaning of the donations to other people. Therefore, they satisfy themselves first. Is it similar to selfish? While to be honest, that is how we are wired; this is the reality. So what we can do is to acknowledge it, respect it and utilize it.

To understand the concept that human cares about himself first is the basics of interpersonal communication. When you talk to people, try to find the topics that interest them. What? They. Therefore, if you talk with them about themselves, they will become interested, involved and passionate and you become more likable, because you are corresponding to humanity. On the contrary, if you talk more about yourself, you go against that nature.

So remember the basics – people care about themselves a thousand times more than about anybody or anything else.

To be continued…

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